This past week was ‘I&D Week 2023’ at my workplace. The yearly event held during Pride month showcasing talks, exhibitions and events around Inclusion and Diversity, with a Parade of Culture taking place midweek. There is also a big outdoor party with a musical special guest (this year it was Tom Grennan) and free alcohol. One of the events available to attend is called the ‘Power of Storytelling’, and consists of employees telling their personal stories virtually to people who sign up. I was given the opportunity this year to tell my own personal story, ‘Surrogacy Journey’, a 3000 word essay I wrote chronicling everything my husband and I have done to realise our dream of having our own family. I’d never done anything like it before as it was way outside my comfort but was emboldened to sign up.

A bit of background as to why, is that over the past few months I’d begun reaching out to my company to find out what supports they give to employees who use surrogacy to help start their family. With there being no surrogacy legislation in Ireland, I didn’t expect much but the Assistant Human Reproduction bill 2022 was close to being brought before government so many companies had begun to offer enhanced benefits, including time off that aligned with Maternity and Adoptive Leave. A post on our People (HR) website in October 2022, ‘…. benefits are getting even better in 2023’ offered a generous financial support. That assistance was amazing but those other companies offered 26 weeks paid time off to bond with a child. When I asked the HR Team if they had any plan to offer the same, I was sent a email advising I’d be entitled to six weeks Non-Birth Parent Leave. I wanted to highlight the importance of the journey my husband and I were on, and maybe recognise the need for extended leave.

Determined I began to engage with two advocacy groups, the Pride group and the Parents group, to highlight surrogacy. Many people I’d spoken too were enlightened about the process and the journey someone needs to take to start their family with the help of surrogacy. Along with all the work my husband and I had been doing, getting time off to bond and look after a baby was paramount to us. The ‘Power of Storytelling’ events I attended in 2022 were stories from brave and courageous people who sought solace with an inclusive audience. I’d be doing the same so I wrote an essay with excerpts from stories that I have written over the past couple of months. The story began with us in Toronto’s Pearson International Airport and seeing an Irish gay couple with their baby, born via Surrogacy. The middle section was a timeline of events up to the point we travelled to Canada and then finished with us disembarking from our flight in Dublin, and seeing that same couple with their baby meeting their family who were hugging and kissing them at Arrivals area.

Over 120 people signed up to attend my virtual event, over two days where I read the essay aloud and took questions. I absolutely loved it and have received so many well wishes from colleagues and many compliments too on my storytelling ability. It’s important to note that I left out any mention of ‘Surrogacy Leave’ from the essay, since it isn’t legislated for in Irish Law. A person did ask a question if I’d get time off, equivalent to adoptive leave, with me saying no but the hope it will be soon either via a bill being enacted in law or our company stepping up. I felt more comfortable with it being addressed this way then using the event as a soapbox for a political statement.

Time will tell if I can avail of any extended leave but importantly I was able to share our very personal story with so many people. People who may be struggling with starting their own family or know others who are but now know there is hope.